Trial by fire

This is the fourth week of my 10 week long patisserie course and has it gone quickly already. I'm still not sure whether I'm fully enjoying it or not. I suspect that I am, but it's more of a post-session enjoyment than anything as when I am in my chef whites and in that kitchen, it's a crazy crazy situation.

It's very strange. It's not like I'm not comfortable in the kitchen, on the contrary. I am perfectly at home with stove, oven and rolling pin. Yet when I am in that kitchen I turn into this wreck. It's to do with the fact that
a) there are 10 students plus chef plus porter in a fairly small kitchen
b) the chef is constantly shouting instructions and warnings
c) we have to cram in a hell of a lot of stuff into a 3 hour session

I find myself being pulled along with the other students even though I should be concentrating on my own thing. Why is her pastry different to mine? How comes she's so far ahead? How comes her biscuits are that colour already? A conscientious cook should be focussed and attentive to their own produce. I was so unhappy with my puff pastry as I was too busy racing along so as not to be too behind and as a result, it was too dry and slightly lumpy. Trying to pay attention to Chef's instructions as I am reading my notes from the demonstration and keeping an eye on two things at once. It all starts to get a bit much after a while. Especially when time is running out and you then have to worry about presenting your baked goods to Chef for grading.

And then afterwards, when I have escaped the sauna of the kitchen and managed to get my pastries home in one piece, I think about how I enjoyed the cameraderie of it all. The adrenalin rush starts to ease and the deep satisfaction I get when I taste the results of my hard slog is pretty immense.

There is no doubt that patisserie is a fine art. It is pure science and a precise one at that. A gram too much, a degree too high, a second too much whisking and all can be ruins. And yet it is all worth it when the tasting spoons come out..

Pastry Nerves

Last week I started my Cordon Bleu Basic Patisserie course. 15 hours of demonstrations and practicals over 2 days. I was so exhausted on by the end of Friday that it was all I could do to get my stuff together and get home with my still piping hot Pear Jalousie.

I have much preparation to do before my next class. Not in terms of studying but rather mental preparation for the practical sessions. I was very cross with myself after Friday's class as I felt like I had somehow let myself down. My puff pastry didn't go as it should and I just generally felt like I wasn't on top of things. I know why, of course - I was far more stressed out and tense than I should have been. I guess I had pretty high expectations of myself and also, it's quite important for me to do well. But in retrospect, if I had been a little more relaxed, I would have been able to concentrate better and probably enjoyed myself a bit more.

So my mission for this week is to chill out a bit and have some fun - I am there to learn after all! Besides, on the agenda is custard - yum yum!!! :)